Thoughtful Contemplations

After a few days of contemplation, I’ve reached my conclusion:

People are funny.

Perhaps you are scratching your head right now, wondering what exactly I mean by that. No – I don’t mean it in the sense that all people are like Dave Barry (I wish…that would make my life at least slightly bearable). By “funny”, I mean that people often do abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous things and then think that there was abso-fucking-lutely nothing ridiculous about it at all.

Here, for convenience, these people (i.e the do-ers of the abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous things) will be referred to as “assholes”.

These assholes are everywhere. These are the people who, for some reason, don’t flush the toilet after they’ve finished peeing. These are the people who don’t make any sense but still won’t shut the fuck up during class discussions. And yes – these are the people who, at this very moment, are writing Justin Timberlake’s next song.

Yes, I repeat, these assholes are everywhere and they’re doing asshole-like things everyday. Yet, they seem to be totally oblivious to their own assholery. For example, as I’m writing this at 2:16am, someone upstairs is playing the drums (or he might just be banging very loudly on some large cans. Perhaps it is best that I don’t speculate). I bet the thought of playing a loud instrument at a Godly hour never even crossed his mind. For this person, playing the drums at 2:16am may seem like a natural course of life. Just like how going up there and kicking him in the balls seems like an extremely natural course of life for me now. But because this asshole is so oblivious, he would probably just lie there on the floor (after I’ve kicked him) and think “why the hell was that bitch so angry at me?” and then he would resume his 2:16am drum playing.

But the worst ones are definitely those who know that they’re an asshole but don’t try to do anything about it and then, at the same time, still expect people to like them. In their minds, this is a world where the following scenario could actually play out:

Asshole: Hey, I know I just burned down your house and slept with your wife but we’re still cool ya?
Good sane person: Ya sure! And we’re definitely still on for Thursday night Scrabble!

Of course, good sane people like you and I know that, in reality, the scenario would be:

Asshole: Hey, I know I just burned down your house and slept with your wife but we’re still cool ya?
Good sane person: (Takes out a giant gun and shoots Asshole)

In a way, these are the people I find extremely funny and amusing. Do they honestly think they can screw people over and then still be invited to Thursday night Scrabble? I really don’t get it. Do they think that they can get away with it because people won’t realize that they’re being absolute assholes? I mean, do they honestly expect a good sane person to say “oh, my house burned down. Must be that damn fire-breathing dragon…”

Well, for the benefit of any assholes out there who are reading this, here’s a friendly note to you: people DO realize it when they are being screwed over. People DO know it if you’re being an asshole. And if people DO find out that you’re an asshole, you sure as hell can bet that you won’t be invited to Thursday night Scrabble.

Ain't That Enough

I decided to stay up until 6am so I could go out and see the sunrise. After all, I had just finished reading "Thousand Cranes" and had spent the night listening to Teenage Fanclub's "Ain't that Enough?" on repeat, so it seemed almost sacrilegious to NOT stay up for the sunrise.

Maybe I'd lie on the grass and look up. I don't do that very often. I walked out and, of course, the sprinklers have just been on. Everything is fucking wet.

Of course.

So I took one on the patio instead. By now, the white had disappeared completely and instead, it's all green. I fucking hate that shade of green. I still sit out there though and look up. It's not white anymore but it's still better than a lot of things. And then I start to remember back when it was cold. When I thought this could possibly be the greatest thing to have happened to me. I was sitting there as well and I was looking at the same thing. But back then, there was nothing at all. No white, not even a little bit of green. And I was thinking that my fingers would freeze away. But it was beautiful anyways and I stayed out there. And when I see a layer of white rise up between me and the air, for some reason, it’s a little comforting.

And for a while, I developed this horrible horrible habit.

All I wanted to do was to own a typewriter and write something about nothing; to drink coffee until I could permanently taste it in the back of my mouth; to take them until I could smell them off my fingers. How disgusting. And at one point, I even became tempted to offer to buy a drink for someone off the street and invite them to sit down and talk to me.

That’s when I decided I'd go. 2 more years and then I'd go. The back of my hands started to look a little strange after a while but it didn't matter because I'd decided I'd go. And everything that happened all seemed to matter again though I’m not sure whether that's good or not.

I didn't end up seeing the sunrise after all. But it's all good: I never was too impressed by them anyways.

(6.02am)

Life Goes Easy on Me

"How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?"

Actually, it feels fucking great...